Friday, June 27, 2008

As Good as can be Expected.......

Well it has been a few weeks since my last update on how Luv-A-Rug is doing and things are pretty good. It has been an adjustment in how we do things are here now. Our space is smaller and the floor is carpeted, so storage of rugs is a bit unorganized and measuring rugs is a little harder. How rug cleaners do it without a pre-measured out floor is...well for a lack of a better word silly. I miss just looking down and seeing the measurements, plus moving rugs around on carpet well sucks.
We now have all of our data up to the day of the fire and a working printer, so no more handwritten invoices. We are functioning as a real business. Up until June 24th I felt out of place and embarrassed that we had to do things by hand. Most of the clients that have dropped rugs off in the last 3 weeks are repeat clients and not being able to give them the same level of service and quality was taxing.
You really don't know how good you had it until it is gone. It is always the little things you miss and took for granted, such as a tiled floor or having all your e-mails saved. Office storage has dropped from a huge filing cabinet and shelves to no shelves and a small filing cabinet. I NEED to have an organized work space and now it is too messy for me. I have submitted to the constraints of my new work space, but I am not comfortable in it.
As I may have mentioned before I don't deal well with stress or high emotions, such as what I had to deal with the fire. My boss wants me to mention this and I will even though I think it is redundant. I started smoking again on the 5th of May. I have been smoking on and off since I was 14. I had quit for 2 1/2 years back in Oct. 2005. I started up again this year when ever I went out with my friends to the bar because as most of us smokers know that when you drink you smoke. Smoking for me was always a social thing. In my hard core days I would smoke 6-7 cigarettes a day (not what you would call heavy). Back in 2003 I again had been smoke free for over 2 years and got fired for the first time in my life and my previous boss was making my life hell so to deal with it I started smoking again. Same as this time, my stress level went up to extremes and I don't have any other way of dealing with it besides my old stand-by, cigarettes!
The fire happened the evening of April 26th and on the 2nd of May my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. Yes I am insane. When I need a shoulder to lean on the most I leave it. So once again I leaned on cigarettes to get me through.
The really stupid thing about all this is I hate smoking! I hate that I smell, that I spend money I shouldn't on them, that with being single it makes me unattractive, the list goes on. SO that makes you think, why am I still smoking if I hate it so much? Besides it being addictive I only have one way of quitting-I don't smoke when I get sick. Every time I have 'successfully' quit I was very sick for at least a week, I don't smoke when I am sick, and I can't feel the withdrawal effects. It is now summer time and I don't want to get sick, so how am I going to quit cold turkey this time?
I have a very loose plan I am implementing. First I am not going out to the bar, second I am making plans with my non-smoker friends, third every time I get the urge to have a cigarette I wait 1/2 hour and not think about it, fourth I don't smoke after 10pm and fifth I keep thinking about the man I will fall in love with, whom ever that may be.
Okay, I am done now spilling my personal stuff in a work blog.
Thank you for reading, RugloverMary